Here’s the thing they don’t tell you about living with a mental illness, in order for everyone else to be happy, you have to be unhappy.

I say this because I can’t express my moods or explain my disorder without someone rolling their eyes, or telling me to suck it up. I can’t be moody or take a time out to find the gray without someone telling me I’m overreacting. I can’t talk about my disorder without someone telling me I’m using it as a crutch.

The truth of the matter is, I don’t process things the same way that most people do. Unfortunately this causes problems because the majority of people don’t care about that, they only care that they don’t like how I handle things and then they chastise me for being different. As if I control it.

No matter how I try to explain my disorder, I run into this same problem every time. I started writing my blog because I hoped it would bring awareness. Then I realized nobody reads this. It’s just my insignificant little journal.

This could be a suicide note, and nobody would know because nobody will read it. Just like how I have to find my gray, and nobody knows that I never had it.


*This is not a suicide note.


2 thoughts on “Insignificant

  1. I completely understand. I was also diagnosed. Its so hard to explain no one gets it and its so frustrating. People say “its just in your head” yeah right, try living in my head for 24 hours. I’m glad there is someone else out there who can relate.


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