Suicide Survivor

Suicide is selfish. I’ve been on both sides, and this is the one thing I still hold true.

I’ve been on the other end of the phone calls, the ones where I was told a person had tried to commit suicide. I remember that feeling so well that it haunts me.

I’ve also been the one that phones calls were about. I’ve attempted suicide 3 times in my life. I’ve been in the E.R. 3 times before of those attempts. I’ve scared the hell out of my loved ones.

Why? To be perfectly honest, I was being selfish. It’s a state of mind you go into where you don’t think about anything besides the fact that you want to end everything all at once. You don’t think about your loved ones and how it will hurt them. You think about how you can end it all, and your suffering will be over.

Suicide is a dark place in one’s mind where nothing matters except being free from the pain.

I’m glad that I wasn’t successful in my attempts. I’m glad that I have survived, and fought every day to not go back to that place.

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